We start using Eberechi Eze’s seldom-watched other half yet reaction on to Lisandro Martinez being founded on some guidance by an worn dude.
Know your void, Lisandro. And button off your phone. Can it be a conspicuous standard at Manchester Unified?
Eze lugs out it
The peak tale in the entirety wide of football on Tuesday morning according to The Sun:
Repertoire celeb Eberechi Eze discloses how seldom-watched other half Izuthe retains him ‘stranded’ and is fulcra to his success
Pretty sure he brows through her, fellas. Merely offered that you didn’t have a zillion images of her in swimsuits in your media archive…
That reckons Butt and Scholes were blameless?
Elsewhere, there is an detestable digit of talk around Lisandro Martinez and his ‘spat’ (lugs out anyone ever before utilise the word ‘spat’ in real life?) using Nicky Butt and Paul Scholes. It dominates the Everyday Mail:
There’s lone one winner in the childlike feud between Lisandro Martinez, Paul Scholes and Nicky Butt – here’s what the Guy Unified celeb should execute next, builds IAN LADYMAN
Reel in alarm system as middle-aged English white dude sides using other middle-aged English white people and says that Lisandro Martinez should in fact recognize his void.
Transferring onward, the trail forward for the kind of Martinez would unquestionably appear to be legible. Merely rotate your phone off and farces around more outlined.
There you go. Revolve your phone off and farces around more outlined. Slight.
And understandably neglect reporters – encompassing Ladyman’s Everyday Mail workmate Chris Wheeler – as shortly as they ask you around previous Manchester Unified celebrities totally going across the queue between pertinent criticism of football performance and jibes around his stature.
Lest we neglect, Butt foreseen on a podcast – to excellent guffaws – that Erling Haaland would unquestionably “pick Martinez upwards and sprinted using him” and that their battle at Ratty Trafford on Saturday would unquestionably appear like “a papa after university rushing down the roadway using a minuscule toddler”.
Scholes after that added that Haaland would unquestionably “rating, after that throw him in the net” offered that banter.
Merely rotate your phone off and channelling out utilise taller, Lisandro.
So owning been criticised extensively on a podcast, Martinez literally addressed some reporters’ anxieties, overture using “truthfully, he can case every little thing he needs” and he is in the deceptive? Supposedly indeed…
The Argentina protector was superior at the weekend break as Unified tore Manchester Metropolis to hunks using a throwback performance at Ratty Trafford. Yet snatching to social media afterwards to goad Scholes and his podcast cohort Nicky Butt – who merely will unquestionably not impart a damn – over feedbacks they administered in the build-upwards was totally self-fleeing behind and lone bargains to supporter the flames of an misery that conspicuous head adviser Michael Carrick ultimatums to die down as shortly as practicable.
He didn’t ‘snag to social media afterwards’, Ian; he was literally quized some anxieties by your officemateses in the media.
You recognize who after that did snag to social media? Paul Scholes, who replied using Instagram. Then Butt replied using the gadget of a podcast. Prefer the substantial people they are.
This, by the way, is illustrious job:
🗣️ “We exchanged messages on Instagram… I sent out him my phone digit, I’ve not listened to anything from him!”
Paul Scholes & Nicky Butt go versus their reserve on the Lisandro Martinez controversy! 👀 pic.twitter.com/kvNQAE491Y
— The Nice, The Ruining & The Football (@goodbadftblpod) January 19, 2026
Please God let there ever before be a reserve to go versus.
Ladyman expires by writing:
The entirety legend has genuinely felt a minuscule unedifying yet Martinez postured his solution throughout 95 spotless minutes on the industry on Saturday. That was his rebuttal – that was the safest of him – and as such it demanded zero better panache or conversation.
Then here’s an proposition: Don’t sodding ask him.
I obtained conspicuous ethic, I count ’em
Perhaps Michael Carrick could introduce some conspicuous ethic around ‘merely swivelling off your phone and tinkering more outlined’ at Manchester Unified.
After with one voice, this is a time of readjust at the club. As reported by the Manchester Night Information:
Michael Carrick brings in conspicuous Guy Unified standard promptly after Ruben Amorim’s ‘constrictions’
And what is this ‘conspicuous Guy Unified standard’?
This marked transition could be down to a conspicuous standard Carrick speedily implemented upon snatching penalty. As reported by the Everyday Mail, the 44-year-worn has administered training sessions at Carrington much shorter yet more intense in an exertion to integrate results this season.
Is that a ‘standard’? Or is it a time-table readjust? We recognize the rebuttal, yet we in a analogous way recognize the rebuttal to ‘what makes a more outlined headline?’.
The Express channelling us this belter: ‘Michael Carrick promptly presents conspicuous standard at Guy Utd as senior celebrities ‘snag reaction’.’
Are we intended to think that the senior players have ‘thieved reaction’ versus this conspicuous standard? Of course. Is this true? Is it spheres.
And what’s this ‘conspicuous standard’:
Michael Carrick has promptly let loose a conspicuous standard at Manchester Unified, posing better emphasis on sufferer job using details players in training.
Still not a f***ing standard.
Yet away from Manchester Unified…
‘Arguable previous Premier League celeb aesthetic attractions unrecognisable using faultlessly different hairdo’, cases The Sun. Above a image of the most Neal Maupay-ish dude practicable. Wearing some hair.
Can’t think this is Neal Maupay😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/UV6JQ2fc8L
— The 44 ⚽️ (@The_Forty_Four) January 19, 2026
A digit more as we channelling out utilise it.
