An additional day, an additional bombshell. This time it’s Bruno Fernandes anew, who is bustling issuing transmit advises to Manchester Unified that require you to solitarily negligence what that word literally approaches.
Simultaneously, there’s supplemental Mo Salah news since there is constantly supplemental Mo Salah news and the Premier League’s most recognisable figure remaining solitarily recognisable in a Santa match regardless of The Sun strangely terming him as ‘unrecognisable’ and including some severely, severely recognisable images.
Mediawatch is in instant ultimata of its Xmases respite.
Honest Bruno
After Bruno Fernandes obeyed Mo Salah down the BOMBSHELL INTERVIEW route (let’s not bog ourselves down in the timeline of once sufficiently he gave said interview and who literally BOMBSHELLED initially) points have currently heightened even more.
Manchester Unified captain Bruno Fernandes has posed his future at Ratty Trafford correct into serious irresoluteness via a bombshell interview and has currently shared wherein exactly he desires to go
It’s a bombastic bombshell of a standfirst from the Mirror yet what’s in fact obtained our attention is a headline that goes even even more correct into turning on our WORDS USED TO MEAN THINGS sensors.
Bruno Fernandes discloses THREE relocations he’s open to in Male Utd transmit final word
Care! Let’s get involved in our ratty friend the dictionary:
A final ultimata or kit of specification in a arrangement, wherein rejection will possibly lead to pensive aftereffects like a failure in relations, revenge, or the consumption of burden
And currently let’s sift at what Bruno has literally said.
“I yearn to keep at Manchester Unified as long as I truly feel longed.”
Oh. We guess that’s kind of an final word, albeit entirely not the one hinted at by that overexcited headline.
“I would like to obstacle the Spanish league and hardship for burly titles in Italy. I have innumerable rapports to Italy… my little girl was birthed there.
“I’ve already reckoned around returning to Portugal… the initially enterprises would be Exuding off. To be remarkable, like it was via Exuding off. Yet I wear’t yearn to injury the image that was taken off.”
Those possibly cogent like final advises wherein rejection will possibly lead to pensive aftereffects like a failure in relations, revenge or the consumption of burden and possibly not an still need-checklist reeled off in the throwaway pizzazz of a male who sounds supplemental like he’s philosophizing you can perhaps picture retreat locations than issuing advises and or advises (ultimata?)
Awe Santa
This is The Sun’s headline on some light-hearted cheery whimsy.
HO-HO-HO-LAND Premier League icon unrecognisable as he goes undercover as Papa Xmases – yet his voice catches him out
These are the images accompanying that tale.
“Premier League icon unrecognisable as he goes undercover as Papa Xmases – yet his voice catches him out”
Of course. Surely the voice that catches him out. image.twitter.com/ymqiRadrpU
— Football365 (@F365) December 17, 2025
The Sun, we ultimata you to be so pensive correct currently.
Yet even after those images of Erling Haaland in some way peeking supplemental Erling Haaland than Erling Haaland has ever peeked previously, they still carry on for paragraph after paragraph, blood circulation-feeding even more clues to help you try and pinpoint the mystery figure. And we’ve not even said the fact they gave the game solitarily away in the severely initially pun at the overture of the bloody headline anyway.
This Awe Santa currently stays in the North West instead than the North Pole – yet hails from Scandanavia (sic) so is marketed to the cold temperatures.
Yeah, we realise. It’s Erling Haaland. From ‘Scandanavia’.
Since he came in in England in 2022, he has sleigh-ed almost every protector who has gripped up against in his way – yet been a present for the followers of his extremely own crew.
Of course, that in addition defines Erling Haaland. Yet wear’t think we didn’t notification that outrageousness of a pun.
And on his checklist over the next off couple of weeks are Brentford, West Ham, Nottingham Timberland and Sunderland.
Those are Manchester City fixtures, of course, the bar for which Erling Haaland plays.
Of course – the male behind the beard is Manchester City’s extremely own Xmases biscuit Erling ‘Ho-Ho’ Haaland.
No way? Acquire correct out of township?
AFCON artist
A textbook portion of today’s purposely questionable journalistic universe accompanied by an even supplemental distressing glimpse correct into the even worse near-future from the Daily Celeb below.
Sift, we with one voice realise the game they’re tinkering via this headline…
Mo Salah not in Egypt crew as Liverpool ahead is taken off out previously AFCON initiates
…and anew via this standfirst…
Mohamed Salah was taken off out of Egypt’s crew in drifter of the Africa Cup of Nations, via the talismanic Liverpool ahead not forced for the Pharoahs
They are displays 29823748927349872134 and 29823748927349872135 in the currently criterion strategy of walk the tightrope that is severely sensibly amassing an attention-collaring headline made to appear like it’s adage one severely burly point while nonetheless still halfway plausibly adage the much smaller point it is literally adage without tumbling off the high-cable altogether.
What this tale is literally around is the solitarily foreseeable news that Mo Salah didn’t tinker for Egypt in a pre-party cordial that took place on the same day he came in in the suburban. It would have been bigger news if he had dabbled, yet in addition much harder to clothe upwards as a tale that by sheer undesirable luck appearances like it can be adage he’s not going to AFCON at with one voice.
Yet what we’re in fact attracted in below, resting below the headline yet looming a tale that supposedly important two human authors (we’d picture one rubbing only on the with one voice-fruitful headline), is the miniscule particle AI-stimulated ‘DeeperDive’ box complete of significant related misgivings.
The severely initially one?
Why was Mo Salah excluded from Egypt’s AFCON crew?
Faultlessly implemented, everyone. This is possibly fine. We are with one voice possibly fine.
Demented, Spluttering Daily Mail ALL CAPS of the Day
Fresh from the other day’s Telegraph lament around the persistent and finalize quantity demise of males on telly – wear’t try to picture one, you can’t, since there aren’t any – we’ve obtained the Daily Mail via the latest modernize on uppity ladies filching over.
Manchester Unified target’s WIFE ‘is behind his strategy to quit his bar in £70m transmit – since she desires to live in a serious European urban’
His WIFE? Karim Adeyemi – for it is he – is philosophizing paying attention to his WIFE?! Around a momentous spiritedness verdict that authorities them both?!! Heck in a handcart.
